If

Wayne To The Max

When I was growing up, my mom had made a little plaque that she hung on the wall over the toilet in the bathroom.  It had this poem by Rudyard Kipling on it.    Whenever I raced in from playing outside needing to take a pee badly, I’d dance left and right in front of the toilet while I unzipped.  Once I was sure of my aim and I had a good steam going, I’d look up and read ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies……..

It was usually at this point that I’d finish pee-ing.  I rarely read any more…

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